“Walking through a deserted city in the hours before dawn is sobering way beyond the undoing of the effects of alcohol. Every thing is familiar, and everything is strange. It’s as if you are the only survivor of some mysterious calamity which has emptied the place of its population, and yet you know that behind the shuttered and curtained windows people lie sleeping in their tens of thousands, and all their joys and disasters lie sleeping too. It makes you think of your own life, usually suspended at that hour, and how you are passing through it as if in a dream. Reality seems very unreal.”
― James Robertson, The Testament of Gideon Mack

…and I did indeed feel that things were unreal as I walked through the normally bustling City of Leeds yesterday. It wasn’t entirely deserted but I was struck by the openness of the spaces that are usually filled with people. The architecture seemed bolder; the buildings more imposing and as a strange mysterious mist hung in the sky, reminiscent of the foggy London streets of a Sherlock Holmes story, the City was mostly silent…..ready for its reawakening.

It’s strange to be having conversations about the anniversary of when we stopped rehearsing and I don’t think anyone could have imagined that we would be looking at 12 months, but for some that is going to be a reality. However, we have achieved such a lot. We have connected more than we have ever done, not only with family and friends, but with many of the leisure groups we would normally attend. We have become more than just faces on screen and we have ‘mastered’ this new method of connecting. No longer nervous about online etiquette and panicking when everything freezes – we just get on with it! Some of us even get dressed to zoom! Well the top half anyway!

But we shall all be happiest when the streets are full of people and we can go about our business without worrying about whether we have remembered our face coverings. We shall rejoice when going into a shop doesn’t feel like a rare occasion or even a luxury. It will be nice to suggest we meet up with friends for a coffee and a not so socially distanced chat. When we can shake hands and hug as we once did.

Until then we can still look up and the stars are there as they have always been, shining down upon us.

…in my own little chair! Well, that’s where I have spent the last 7 days and have just 3 more to go! I enjoy being at home, but it is the little things you miss. I don’t always want to go out but knowing that you can’t makes it harder. I have received many messages of support and I want to thank everyone for them. Usually, I would reply to every message I receive, but tiredness has prevented me from doing so. So, on this occasion I hope you will forgive me. In many ways the time has gone quickly, in other ways it has dragged. I have done very little over the past week, but yesterday found myself looking at my diary and thinking ahead. I suppose the news of a vaccine has lifted everyone’s spirits, but even thinking about the possibility of live music again fills me with so much joy. Yet, time at home makes you value everything around you just that little bit more. All the things you take for granted come sharply in to focus and I know that whatever the future holds those who are important to me will remain so. I have not lost my appetite for social media and have kept up to date with what is happening around the world. For most of my life I have been in leadership roles, admittedly not running a country, but one thing that has always been at the forefront of any decision I have made is that it should be the right one! That doesn’t always mean it has to be the popular decision, but taking all things into account and weighing up all sides of every argument, you have to feel comfortable with the decision you have made and stand by it. It sounds simple doesn’t it! Am I going to skirt around the issues I am referring to, probably, as there are always two sides to a story, but I have always been guided by perception and the preservation of the wider community. There will always be those who criticise and offer alternatives, but when you are the one making the decision, the only person you have to live with is yourself!

A week away from online activities has made me realise just how important keeping in touch with each other has been, especially to those who live alone, or who have tried to maintain a little sense of normality over the past few months. I can’t begin to imagine what it must be like for those who have had little or no income since March and for those who are unable to see anything into the future. In my line of work so much has been lost by so many. Yet, there are some of us who have been fortunate. What a difference just a few months can make to someone’s life. To all of those struggling in the arts and to those businesses that have suffered it must be so difficult to see an end to everything. But there will be an end and we will pick ourselves up and we will find a way back.

Of course, TV has kept me going this last week – ‘Strictly’ continues to entertain and although not everyone’s cup of tea ‘I’m a Celebrity’ has kept me amused. The final of ‘Bake Off’ looms this week and I do have my favourite! This morning, being up early for a supermarket delivery…and I was quite excited at the prospect I watched Opera North’s live stream of Kurt Weill’s ‘The Seven Deadly Sins’ directed and choreographed by my friend Gary Clarke. It was available for a limited time only, but what a triumph. Look out for a live performance in 2021!

In closing, I want to pay tribute to my wonderful Grandmother, who left us 14 years ago today. As time passes, we all become closer and miss the little things. Her encouragement and love for her family was without question. She wasn’t always able to show it, but she was a tower of strength and proud beyond belief of her family. Being born in 1916 meant she was of a different generation, but we all become our parents and grandparents eventually and the values we are taught as a child are never very far away!

In a week that has been dominated by the US presidential election (which seemed to take for ever, there really was only so much coverage that a sane person could watch). But the result is out, and whilst I acknowledge there are always two sides there seems to be an unbelievably strong sense of relief, certainly on social media. I expect the coming days may be difficult, but for now there seems to be a real hope that come January 20th there will be a steadier, less unpredictable hand on the wheel in the USA. Whilst at home the second Lockdown has begun and of course there are underlying concerns and disagreements, but I am sure that whatever your political standpoint is, everyone is hoping it will work. There are difficulties in every one’s life – be it work, home, family related – there are legitimate struggles that we all have to deal with. Yet, there are those who seem intent on taking an alternative pathway. This situation is difficult enough and difficult decisions have to be made but let us work together not against each other. This may seem like generalising, but it is out there. So, for those who think they know best…..spare a thought for those who have had to make those decisions. They have been made following long and hard consideration of the consequences, looking at all the relevant guidance and consulting with the relevant bodies.

I am truly fortunate that at least half of my work has restarted, but like many others in the creative arts, my face to face activities remain on-line. It is not ideal, but it is at least keeping us all together.

I have personally been able to connect with many more people in my work-related activities and continue to try and understand the difficulties and continue to try and support those most in need and I will continue to do so until we find a way through.

Looking back at messages I have sent to friends since March, the ever-moving deadline has kept being pushed back. It will be ok by Easter, the Summer, September, like others I have said those things in the hope that it would be true…now, it’s 2021!

But, in a week where the possibility of being tested positive came closer, we all have to stay calm. No-one wants any more disruption in their lives! So, what have my good moments been this week? Really positive and fun rehearsals with all of my choirs; a wonderfully supportive and focused Trustees meeting and then there was Strictly – yet again Caroline Quentin filled me with joy, but so did Bill Bailey and Ranvir Singh.

In a week where we experienced fireworks of more than one kind, we also had the poignant opportunity to remember. A moment where we all stopped and reflected upon the sacrifice that many made before us, but I am sure that many also thought about those that have been lost due to the pandemic – 2020 will be remembered for a very long time. My enduring image of the week was HM The Queen standing at the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior – still and in deep thought and dignified beyond belief!

It would be very easy for us to be a little down today at the prospect of what the next month will bring. But the lockdown is happening, and I don’t think it helps any of us by worrying about it. I shall not be watching the TV and certainly not be following a blow by blow account of who is right and who is wrong. We all have our moments of being down, but we must fight against these. Speak out, ask for help, only fill your life with positive things. Easier said than done, but we must try!

So, what did I do this weekend? I carved pumpkins – and yes you read that correctly – pumpkins – plural! I watched ‘Strictly’ – and who can not fail to be inspired by the sheer joy of Caroline Quentin.

I watched ‘Bake Off – An Extra Slice’ and I’m with the girl who used the box – thank heavens for Betty Crocker.

To top it all I watched Graham Norton and was inspired by the journalist Frank Gardner whose story will be told this Thursday at 9.00 pm on BBC2. Don’t miss his inspirational journey.

The sun is shining in West Yorkshire today and I am preparing for my week ahead. Being back teaching my students is such a blessing and knowing that I can still do that is a big positive for me. I must publicly praise my choirs for being so resilient during these past few months. My committees, and I have three have simply been outstanding and their support for me, each other and the wider choir community has been exemplary.

So, for the next few weeks we shall remain on-line and we shall continue to laugh and connect and we shall still be supportive of each other and we shall stay strong as a community and we will be there for each other. Let’s hope that everyone can be the same.