Today is the day we find out what the next few months will hold for us. I am not sure whether I am alone in this or not, but I have felt a sense of anticipation all weekend. Whatever your politics I believe the majority want things to go well. I really don’t think the ‘it’s too soon for this’ or ‘it’s too late for that’ comments help at this point. For many there have been so many losses; of family, work, business and probably much more. But I will say today what I have always maintained – there has to be hope. It is coming up to 12 months without live music in my life and I miss it, as indeed do so many of my friends and colleagues. But we shall have to wait a little longer, be cautious and be patient.

There will of course be the usual delay before the detail is clarified and there will be the usual criticism of why we can’t have all the detail at the same time. But the clarification will come, and we will be able to sing again. For my choirs, it has been a difficult time and being online hasn’t been for everyone, but we have tried hard to engage every member and update them on where we are and what we are doing.

Our route back will be to retrain our voices, develop the sound, build the stamina, and perhaps most importantly enjoy hearing each other – which I believe we shall do in a different way. More considered, more intently and with a sense of relief that we are back together.

Our first goal should be to build back our choir community, then gradually welcome back our supporters and our audience. That first concert may be the most wonderful concert we have ever experienced – but we shall not be alone. Let’s not forget what we have lost, what we have realised is important to us and let’s not lose the anticipation of what it will be like to sing again!

There is a difference in the air, and that difference is hope. It was a fleeting moment whilst food shopping at the weekend that I noticed a lightness in everyone’s mood. Previous weeks had been heavy with tiredness, and a weary approach to a task that should carry no real emotion. But there was a tangible difference.

Caution seems to be the watch word, yet there are those who want to push yet again. It is no wonder that I fail to understand the constant back and forth between those in Government and politics, and those who advise. Too slow to lockdown! Not quick enough to open up again! Those were the prevalent comments in the media this weekend: and for those wondering I am not hurrying out to book a summer holiday! Someone reminded me this week that being a politician is not a profession – there is no training to do the job and certainly no manual on how to deal with a pandemic. I suppose I am still naive enough to believe they know best; after all we voted for them to make the decisions. But we voted for the rhetoric, for the speech maker, the personality, the party to get things done! Dependent on what you wanted doing of course! I suppose we would all have done things differently and better in the same position!

I am beginning to realise that I don’t understand at all and I wonder whether that is where we all are at the moment. Watching the pandemic unfold and the worlds commentary on every Government’s handling of it has been fascinating. What I am certain of though, is that sense of hope that I believe we are all feeling.

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. – Desmond Tutu

I don’t know whether anyone else is doing this, but I check out the statistics for the day in the hope that I am seeing a downward trend. I can’t help but give a little cheer when I hear that the vaccine roll out has reached another million. The figures seem cautiously optimistic, but as we are frequently told ‘we are not there yet’. I feel as if I am in some kind of no-man’s land, waiting for a sign for when it is safe to put one’s head above the parapet. The days, weeks and months pass by so quickly, but there is a real desire now to get back to reasonable ‘normality’. I feel it in my online rehearsals every week. We are all coping and doing our best, but we want to be back together. But another confirmed cancellation today, takes me further into uncertainty of when I can resume my activities. We have all braved the storm, dealt with our demons, and come out the other side. We just want the sun to shine now, ‘the war to be over’, and to embrace our friends and family again.

I am and have been positive throughout the last months and have enjoyed the strength of support from the communities in which I am involved, and I know that others have felt that too.

This time last year I would have been adjudicating at a Festival and my goodness I know just how much the Festival world has suffered. So many missed opportunities to perform. Yet, there has been a resilience and an optimism that we will return even stronger and more connected. It is clear that the performing arts world, in its many facets is so clearly needed and there will be an outpouring of creativity when we surface. But many opportunities for creativity in lockdown have released new and different ways of working and we have embraced all that has been available.

We just need to hold on a little longer, be confident in our ability to be strong and to look to better times.

It’s the start of a new month and the start of a new phase. We still have a long journey ahead of us, but taking each step carefully brings us closer to our destination. I generally have a positive outlook on most things, and I believe that has helped to sustain me over recent months. That is not to say I don’t look at things realistically but being hopeful and planning for the future is a good thing. I will always try to look toward the horizon and think about what lies before us. Musically, my choirs have been online for many weeks now. But we have revisited familiar repertoire, begun to look at new music, worked on vocal technique, spoken about repertoire, recorded virtually, learnt new skills, chatted to each, other and kept each other going. Offline we have communicated with all of our members, albeit by email, ‘phone conversations, socially distanced visits and even the old-fashioned way of writing letters! It has been important to us to stay connected! We have even welcomed new members to the wonderful world of zoom!

There have been many initiatives which have blossomed out of necessity and have now become familiar. Our care and love for each other have become stronger and will continue to do so even when the journey is behind us. We will not go back to where we were, but will continue along this path to being kinder, more understanding and better connected.

We have also become very wary of the media. Too many leading questions; too much anger; too much posturing. Our impression of politicians around the world has become more focused and we look upon decisions taken with scepticism. But I have to believe we are all in it together, even if that is naive thinking on my part. I will not let all the things I have worked so hard to achieve simply disappear. The friendships I have made, the experiences I have had shape me as an individual and I will continue to work hard to maintain every aspect of my life. All of these things matter, and they should to all of us. Of course, there is negativity in some quarters, but with just a little more thought that glass will appear half full!