I think we are all hoping, especially for those whose choirs fell silent in March 2020 that this will be a summer where we find our voices again. It’s hard to believe that we are now a week past the 12-month anniversary of the cancellation of our rehearsals and concerts. I have spent most of that year online, not only in rehearsal, but in meetings, discussion groups, quizzes….you name it and I will have done it! We have all become used to that look which tells us that we should leave the meeting, but don’t know how! Maybe – zoom face – will enter the dictionary this coming year! There have been many opportunities to laugh whilst being online and it has been so important to do that. My only regret is that I have not been able to see and engage with every member of my choirs. I realise that for some online just wasn’t for them and I hope that as we return, we will all work hard to bring our community back together and make it even stronger than when we parted.

This weekend, I did something that I have not done in a long time which was read the newspaper. Being able to access the headlines online has very much become the norm, but for some reason I wanted more than just the gist of a story. I have become disillusioned with the press over this past year, realising though that it has been a necessary evil and our only way of coming to terms with our situation, as well as remaining informed.

I have thought a great deal about where I stand on certain subjects and for the most part have a very definite view; on others I am still to weigh up both sides of the argument. For those who follow me on social media, you will have picked up my little outbursts or my commentary on particular issues and some of you may even know why or what has prompted me to comment. But why do it publicly at all? Well, I suppose I could say why not!

Being a ‘celebrity’ affords you a platform, and we have certainly witnessed how that has been used for good or ill this last year. But shouldn’t everyone have a platform? Shouldn’t everyone have a voice? It may not be through social media, but everyone should be able to voice their opinion. But there is a difference between expressing your opinion and being rude!

I am worried that soon we shall no longer be able to express our opinions for fear of upsetting an individual or group or cause and in this sense our liberty is removed, and we all know how we have felt this past year not being able to perform the simplest of tasks and not having the freedom to see our family, our friends or simply go for a coffee! We have, out of necessity restricted ourselves to the bare minimum, but we are now ready to be free again.

There is still some way to go, and I am sure like many others I will wait quietly, watch the data, play my part and eventually, hopefully emerge from the darkness. As I sit writing my blog, the headlines pop up – ‘London Covid deaths fall to zero’ – ‘No evidence to halt lockdown easing’ – but the one to capture my attention this morning – ‘The BBC Proms will take place this year in person at the Royal Albert Hall, in line with government guidance’.

We will all have to adapt to the guidance and I sincerely hope that as the days and weeks unfold, we will find our way back to ‘normality’, that we will find our voices and sing like we have never sung before!

It is 12 months since stopping live music! I find that sentence hard to write in one sense, but conscious that I have achieved such a lot in that 12 months. For many it has been an exceedingly difficult time and will continue to be so. I have been supported throughout in so many ways and for that I am grateful. I have lost earnings like so many others, but I have not been excluded from receiving support. We have all lost in some way or other, but I refuse to be negative. My positive outlook has certainly been a source of strength over the weeks and months.

I have been saddened by what we have seen in the media this week, but I will not give up on humanity!

The late Jo Cox, MP ‘was driven by her belief that a fairer, kinder and more tolerant world was possible. She believed passionately that even the greatest challenges could be overcome’. Do I believe this? Yes, I do!

We will never know the truth surrounding individual circumstances and events, yet we are driven by curiosity and of course opinion. We do not know what motivates actions or decisions, even though we would like to; or think we know what lies behind them. I am not immune to all the hype and the ‘news’ and I will frequently be angry about an individual situation and I will have an opinion. But it is my opinion, and I can only comment on those feelings and not upon something of which I have no knowledge. My opening quote is from May Sarton, a prolific writer of poetry, novels, and journals. Her critics have found her writings to be inspirational, touching, honest and thought-provoking.

This week has caused us all to think and reflect! But this week, like many of my weeks this year I will be with my choral communities, and yet again it will be online. But we will be together and enjoying each other’s company in a shared and much-loved activity.

All I see as I look upon my screen of ‘celebrity squares’ are happy, engaged, thoughtful and kind people who are there to support each other! Thank you!

It is a year this week that I undertook my final concerts of 2020 and in the week to follow the final face to face rehearsals of the year too.

It seems then appropriate that I should be returning to teach tomorrow, having only worked out of the house for 3 months in the last 12. Home covid test taken and vaccinations booked and I can’t help but marvel at the extent of the significant developments in science and medicine over the past year.

Simon Sinek wrote “Life is beautiful not because of the things we see or do. Life is beautiful because of the people we meet.” Tomorrow sees step 1 of the relaxation of restrictions and for so many meeting one other person for a coffee, on a socially distanced park bench will mean such a lot. So many have remained at home and will continue to do so for sometime yet, but we must support everyone on their journey back to a more normal way of living.

It has been a difficult year and we are not through it yet and I know that the next 3 weeks will be tense for everyone as we monitor the daily statistics following an almost full scale return to education.

There have been many changes in the way we work, live and interact and many have had irreparable damage done to their livelihoods, their home lives and so much more. But we are resilient and we will cope.

I am not naive in my understanding that for some it will be difficult and for others, changes will inevitably have to be made, and the road may still be difficult. I am reminded of the words of the Irish Blessing:

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.”

My hope is that we can all be kind and supportive and understand the challenges that people may be facing.

There is no room for bitterness, anger or retribution – only kindness, forgiveness and support. I have no doubt that questions will be asked for many years about how the pandemic was handled, but for now we all need help to find the strength to recover and heal.

It’s been a week of reflection and it has been interesting to me at least, to note my different moods. Sitting with the sun on my face yesterday and reading was just bliss. I have one more week at home before returning to teaching and I am very much looking forward to being with others again. Choral activity continues online, and I still think that we will be doing so for a little longer yet.

The waiting is the hardest thing. I was out on Saturday and the simplest of things brought smiles to people’s faces – a coffee on a bench in an almost deserted city centre was about as exciting as it got. We have to be thankful for so much, especially when we compare ourselves to less fortunate countries.

This time last year I was flying back from adjudicating at the Gibraltar Festival for Young Musicians with no idea of how the next three weeks would unfold. No-one was really prepared for what the outcome would be, and it is hard to think that we are now almost 12 months on from our first lockdown.

But we have adapted and that has been our greatest strength, we have learned so much about ourselves and about each other and in the coming weeks we will get up again.