I appreciate that you will not have been sat waiting for my next blog, but I can at least pretend that that might be the case. As the weeks pass and we hear in the press of an easing of the current restrictions and how that might look. One thing has become abundantly clear to me; and that is that my world, my working life, my weekly existence will not return to normal anytime soon. I am clearly disturbed by that, but perhaps more importantly what worries me is that I am not the only one! There are many creatives and artists in the same position. What does the future hold for us? Then perhaps even more importantly are those we work with, either amateur or professional! We; they; us depend on each other for so much and our basic interaction has been halted in a way like no other time. We approach the celebration of VE day tomorrow and for years this country lived in fear of what might happen. But….we had each other then, we could connect, we could meet and the entertainment industry supported so many and kept spirits high! Everyone I know who finds themselves in the same position is doing all they can to keep their communities together and in so many varied ways. We are not the NHS and we never will be, but I want to applaud all my musical colleagues who are doing an amazing job in trying to keep their communities connected. I speak now as a Conductor and Musical Director; but I have many friends throughout the performing arts disciplines and the wider arts in general who are finding innovative ways to connect. The vast majority of my colleagues don’t have a media platform, but are simply getting on with it! Thank you to each and everyone who continue to make a difference!

Well, we are still in strange times, but it is good that many of us are finding some positivity in our daily lives. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be one of those people  who have lost a loved one; my heart goes out to each and every single one of them and additionally to all those who have relatives who are currently unwell. In recent months the hashtag #BeKind has been used widely and I believe we should all think of this simple motto in our exchanges with each other! There are so many encouraging and engaging stories of how everyone is coping, but there are still those who want to shout louder than everyone else, to be ‘right’, to be rude, and to criticise in an unkind way and to negatively impact on those who are on the receiving end! It is easy to say don’t look at it, don’t read it, turn off your TV. But for some this connection with the outside world is necessary.

Interestingly, I found myself becoming emotional last night, only briefly but it certainly brought me up short, that even invincible me can be touched by the simplest of things. I say this only to highlight that the many emotions we must all be feeling, whether it be alone, or with family or friends. It is important to acknowledge these feelings and to embrace them. They are real and they matter! We all matter!

Routine is the thing that is keeping me going…and I am sure it is for many others. It has been a busy week with on-line rehearsals, meetings and chats, so this weekend I am trying to have a bit of down time. It has been important to talk to family this week and make sure that they are all ok, as well as ensuring friends are staying safe and well.

It really has been great to see so many choir members engaging with each other and having got over the initial shock of seeing themselves on screen are quite enjoying our weekly catch-ups. I am hoping to gather even more choir members together soon for a group chat, so hopefully that will help us connect even more.

Some of the sights we have seen in the media are a little disturbing, as are some of the reports, but sadly human nature won’t let things lie for very long. Individual acts of kindness are always heart warming, but let’s not forget those that don’t hit the press or our TV screens or social media…the many unseen contributions that people are making to each other are so important. My Gran taught me to be honest, to be kind, to be generous and to be polite. Simple manners that are still important today go a long way in defining a person and I am grateful that those characteristics were taught to me from a very early age.

What strikes me most at the moment is the incredible stillness I can feel, either when sat in the house or garden or like yesterday when I went for a short walk. I am also noticing things that I have never noticed before. Perhaps we are all just a little more present these days!

Happy Easter Sunday everyone. In and among all of what is going on, I have had time to sit and reflect…but there again, those of you who know me well, will know that I do that a lot. I am always confident in my decision making, but if someone…anyone questions those decisions or presents an alternative; then it is in my nature to reconsider the options. Usually those decisions are based on having all the relevant information at the time, but it does not preclude me from changing my mind. However, there is usually a sound rationale for making those decisions and it would be normal for me to consider all the relevant outcomes. I have to admit that I do have questions at the moment and I do have doubts, but I do know that people are scared and whilst they want to hear the truth, they want to have hope. I worry about those people who are on their own and watch the TV for comfort, but instead we hear all the ‘what ifs?’…and ‘what might that look like?’…’could you give an example of?’ …. and yes we can all turn off the TV, but when it is your only source of information, that is easier said than done. Being a little obsessed with social media, I have to admit to being appalled and disgusted by some of the interactions I have witnessed, particularly on Twitter. It is so easy to be confident and bullish when you are hiding behind 280 characters. I believe we should all be accountable and I am quite sure that when all of this is over, questions will be asked…..but let’s ask the right questions and in the right manner. I have been impressed and heartened by the support my choirs have given each other and the support the festivals community has shown. Family and friends are there for each other and we must have hope! We have to have hope. I am reminded of perhaps one of the most popular poems written by Maya Angelou ‘Still I Rise’ which speaks against injustice and yet gives us all something to cling on to.

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
’Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

What a lovely surprise it was for me to join the Unlimited Voices Travel weekly chat yesterday morning and see so many familiar faces.  It brought back so many memories of so many lovely singing trips! So, one of those things I have been meaning to do for a long time, I eventually got round to doing yesterday as well……creating group email addresses! I know it’s not terribly exciting, but it was something I had just never got round to! I feel so good about myself! The simple things eh! I also had a few moments where I forgot about our current situation….I was sat in my garden (and I really know how lucky I am in that respect) and listened to the grass being cut, don’t know by whom or where, but was a lovely peaceful and relaxing sound! I also received two new books in the post; I can’t remember the last time I purchased books on line – so excited to receive Philip Gwynne Jones new Nathan Sutherland book and another Elly Griffiths, Dr Ruth Galloway story. I only recently discovered both of these authors and I really love the way they create interest, paint the picture, make the characters burst with life and describe their surroundings so beautifully. I would highly recommend both to you! I also had a little rant on Twitter last night about everyone who seems to want to express an opinion and particularly about those whose opinion is negative….I am a positive person and will always look for that in others…by all means have an opinion, but stop being rude….there is no place for it now or indeed ever! I am really looking forward to a family online chat tonight; hope the internet doesn’t have a wobble like last night! Keep safe everyone, stay well and sing like the world is listening!

Happy Monday to you all. So what did I do at the weekend? Dusted corners I never knew existed, varnished doors that had been unvarnished for far too long! I sorted out my wardrobe…well some of it! I put some of my filing away; I mastered part of a level on my VR game! (Yes, really!) Watched quite a bit of TV, read and relaxed. And I can tell you I don’t normally do all that in a weekend.

So, here I am back at my desk…choirs emailed, zoom meetings scheduled, lost income recorded, but I have also sat in the garden and read a couple of chapters of my book. It’s quite strange taking things out of my diary, but its nice when work for 2021, 2022 and 2023 comes in! It will take a little while for all of this to settle, but it will settle and we will get back to normality! But, in all honesty, I don’t want to go back to normality….I want to remember the time we made for each other and ensure it continues. When we are back in rehearsal, I want the singers in each of my choirs to speak to members they haven’t spoken to before. We are all, at the moment, just a little more caring for each other, and for our family’s health and well-being….and I want that to continue.

I have always believed in allowing myself time to reflect; some might say we have too much time at present, but perhaps we don’t allow ourselves the time in the busy worlds we create? I will finish with the simple message Her Majesty The Queen gave last night ….”We will meet again”

Well, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I’m still going from task to task and found myself getting a little annoyed when I couldn’t connect to the internet or access my files as quickly as I wanted to today. Then I said – why the rush? So, it felt right to stop, breathe and have a doughnut and a cup of tea! I think I need to be joining the PE with Joe sessions, but maybe the one for seniors, which seems a little less intensive. I don’t want to peak too soon! Being settled in my own mind and being content is helping me deal with this new situation; but I guess it is going to be different for everyone. After all no-one is untouched by any of this. I am overwhelmed by the support that all of my communities are showing each other. I am also trying to keep in touch with as many as people as possible! I have even taken to ringing people – now there’s a novelty! I am not sure it is going to catch on. One thing is absolutely certain, that what defines us as humans is our compassion and support for each other. There are many unsung heroes simply getting on with supporting families, businesses, colleagues, friends, neighbours, parents, pupils –  each and everyone deserve our thanks and there are literally too many to mention. I would like to think the applause last night for our wonderful NHS was for everyone, it certainly felt like it to me! I had a couple of hours of escapism yesterday too and watched Mary Poppins Returns, followed by a glass or two of wine! I hope that everyone I know stays safe and well and can find some element of peace or routine.

Hello everyone, well I tried to have a ‘normal’ weekend, in that I tried to relax and do ‘normal’ things, in so far as doing anything can be ‘normal’ these days. I should have been conducting Chesterfield Philharmonic Choir on Saturday in the Rutter – Requiem and Jenkins – Stabat Mater. Hopefully this concert will be re-scheduled so we won’t miss out on singing this wonderful music.  I also went for a walk around 10.00 pm on Sunday night, clear skies, a chill in the air and a yet a peaceful silence. I was, amidst all of this confusion, quite ‘content’. Spending time at home is something I don’t do as much as I should and I have found myself enjoying more of my time here. Although there has been quite a bit to keep me busy. Keeping in touch with all of my choirs, as many people as I can in the Festival world and seeing how I can support my piano and singing students, plus reading guidance from the Government and increasingly becoming  more distanced from the media. I watch what I need to and have stopped watching the debate and speculation. In fact, I am almost thinking that this weekend I will turn my ‘phone off. Let’s see! I have also been able to laugh and it is important to keep amused. Friendships and family have strengthened and we all know without saying so that we are there for each other.

I really am keeping busy, but flitting from one job to the next, no real routine, but staying positive and focused. I had a great night last night, hosting 28 members of Honley MVC on Zoom, and believe it or not I think we really enjoyed seeing each other! We are going to attempt some kind of sectional rehearsal on Tuesday, and whilst I know it won’t be the same, we can at least try to keep our voices going!

I have had many conversations with different groups of people this week and many interactions through social media and it is clear that we are all handling this situation in different ways. Not that I profess to know everything, although many in my choirs will recall me saying on more than one occasion that I am always right! You don’t need to remind me! But, I think we all need to give ourselves a break; don’t be too harsh on ourselves when things don’t quite work out how we want them to! We are all learning something new each day, having to cope with new situations each day and it is ok to make mistakes. I am sure that we all want to think we can handle anything, but in reality maybe we can’t – so talk to your family and friends, give yourself a few moments to reflect and perhaps to just hit the pause button. The expectations we place on ourselves shouldn’t stifle or stop us! Be realistic, and be supportive and above all else be human!

I hope you are all doing ok? I had quite a busy day yesterday, with three hours of zoom technology and we are going to trial rehearsals next week (of a kind). Just getting people to sing, albeit on their own; but with the ability to see each other. If nothing else it keeps us amused. I have been able to sit in the garden and read – thank you Elly Griffiths for your amazing books. If you haven’t come across this author, you really must give her a look. I also sat and watched the birds in my garden, and listened to the various bird calls, I hadn’t realised how many there would be. The next task is to work out what they are. I know I have seen four magpies and I think a wood pigeon. Hopefully, by next week I will have communicated in some way or other with all of my choirs and it is good to see people smiling on-line or to receive messages from them. Our community is strong and alive and will support each other. I have stopped watching the ever growing speculative approach of the media. I know it is important to stay informed and I am doing so through social media, but I don’t want to watch the blow by blow account, the criticism, the hype! It is all too much. Today I went for a short walk and found my self rushing – why I thought to myself. Slow down, enjoy what is around you, enjoy a friendly good morning from the lady on the other side of the road. This is a good time to reflect, to build your emotional and mental strength, as well as looking after your on-going health. Have a good day everyone!