All I seem to do at the moment is think about the future. When will things be back to normal? I am teaching, albeit with some school restrictions in place, but I go out and work. My choirs continue online, but behind the scenes we are refining risk assessments, analysing return data from members, liaising with our venues, exploring technology requirements and planning future concerts. We await confirmation that Step 3 will go ahead and that indoor rehearsals can take place. But it comes down to one thing – how safe is singing? There is no data so we can’t tell. But out in Leeds today the mood was different. Shops open, many more people than my previous visits and a burgeoning of outdoor cafes which gave the city a real buzz. But there were hundreds of people in close proximity to each other, yes they were outdoors, but nevertheless closer than ever before and from Monday 17th we will be allowed to eat and drink inside. There is still a little nervousness around singing and understandably so, but we have seen 6000 attendees over the two days of a mini festival in Liverpool. There were no positive cases reported following 100s of mask wearing fans watching the snooker in Sheffield. Other similar events are being planned, including theatre productions announcing opening dates, so it would seem it is only a matter of time before we can sing again. We will tread cautiously, and we will be careful for the remainder of the year. But we will grow in confidence as we take small steps back to normality.

The choral world has taken a massive hit, alongside brass bands and orchestras and we all want to be back together. But there will be changes. I think we will all look after ourselves a little better. We will care more for each other and we will stop occasionally to find time to enjoy life rather than racing from one thing to the next.

I know I have tried my best for what I naively thought would only be a few weeks in lockdown, but who would have thought so many rehearsals and concerts would be cancelled and how many 100s of zoom meetings would need to be scheduled. In the meantime, let us love those closest to us, let us look forward to being able to sing again and let us hope that we can emerge from this experience stronger and more united and that we have learned from our mistakes and avoid it happening again.

Happy Bank Holiday Monday everyone! Social media has been around in many forms for around 40 years (according to the internet), but it is in the last 20 or so years that the upsurge in the worlds use of social media has increased. Facebook appeared in 2004 and Twitter in 2006. Both have revolutionised the way in which many communicate and receive information. For some though the sound of the gentle thud as letters come through the post box still hold an excitement. I know, that for me I still enjoy receiving letters. Whilst at university, travelling mostly by public transport, I would use the time to write, usually to my Gran who wanted to know how things were going. Today of course, we sit at or with our many ‘devices’ and type and then whoosh the message has gone. Frustration ensues when the reply is not immediate, but let’s not forget that not everyone attaches the same importance to this method of communication. We still need time to reflect on our answers and yet can reply swiftly to correct an error.

This last week a Minister misspoke and for those who were ‘listening’ sent the choral world into melt down. For many the moment passed them by, and the status quo remained. I am not criticising anyone here, just an observation that perhaps to be ignorant of a mistake can save a flurry of activity, only to be calmed by a correction being made two days later. In my humbled opinion, the mistake should not have been made in the first place, especially in the current climate.

We all want to believe that things will be better in the long run and I believe they will. I follow the data and keep up with the news and have far too many hours of screen time on a daily basis for my own good.

I think we all accept the reality of the situation, but sometimes a little escapism goes a long way to lift the mood. We want good to triumph over evil, we want to live to fight another day and we want to believe that ‘all’s right with the world’.

So, do I wish I hadn’t been drawn in to two days of speculation over whether the parliamentary answer was right or not. Well, yes I do, it would have saved me a lot of time! But I am glad I had the opportunity to scrutinise the comment and be engaged in its journey.

But had I not been aware of it, my week would have been free from frustration, and I would have been blissfully ignorant. Maybe all I need to do is turn off my ‘phone and sit in the garden and watch the blossom fall from the tree; and in that moment time would stop and I would be happy. Let’s have more of those moments.

For the last 13 months my choirs have been at home! Stopped from meeting face to face to sing and to interact in rehearsals and concerts. We have adapted and learned new skills, we have connected with our members, many of them vulnerable and shielding. We have telephoned, emailed, written, met socially distanced when allowed and we have connected online. It hasn’t been the same and none of us will ever say it has but we have done our best to keep our community positive.

Perhaps most importantly we have kept our communities safe. We have had our freedom limited and our leisure activity taken from us, but we have not been angry or decided to protest our situation. We have understood, been patient and are now planning to return with rigorous risk assessments in place to continue to keep us safe until such time as we have data to prove that we are safe to sing and to be as we were before.

All we want to do is make music again and believe me there are a lot of us. The Big Choral Census undertaken by Voices Now established that in March 2019 there were 40,000 choirs in the UK which included over 2 million singers. Just imagine if we took to the streets!

The report said:

‘Study after study by leading research institutions has shown that singing in choirs creates coherent community groups, strengthens working relationships, promotes happiness, mental well-being, and general and therapeutic physical health. It takes place in welcoming environments at an economic cost well below many other leisure and cultural activities, does not discriminate by age or ability, and is close to being within the reach of even the most geographically-isolated communities.

‘Choirs are already popular and are still growing, they bring innumerable benefits to communities and individuals, they are open to and cater for all. But they have the potential to do much, much more. Voices Now believes that the time is long overdue to grasp the incredible, untapped potential that choirs offer to the whole of society, both for those already in the fold and for those who have not yet sung their first notes.’

The message is clear from this that we are important! Add to this number the many bands and orchestras that make up the amateur music world and we would fill the streets of every major city.

But we choose to be dignified and considered in our silence, knowing that soon we will be able to sing and play again and our members will be safe, and we will all be able to benefit from our music making.

The power and importance of music was certainly heightened this weekend, but it has been ever present throughout the last year. We have witnessed virtual recordings from many groups unable to meet face to face. We have had performances streamed live into our homes and the musical world has remained innovative and a lifeline to many. The knowledge that so many professional musicians have not been able to perform has been heart breaking, let alone earn money. Whilst some of these restrictions have eased, this is not the case for amateur music makers, and we wait patiently for 17th May. Choirs throughout the country have spent a considerable amount of time looking at risk reduction and risk assessments and how to respond effectively to the guidance. What I think is sometimes forgotten is that whilst a choir or orchestra may hold amateur status, it is made up of professional people in their own right. These skills have been vital in ensuring that a safe return is possible.

My own choirs have those qualified in medicine, science, human resources, workplace risk assessment and that is just a start! We are well placed to guide and support and protect our members and to ensure that they comply with all guidelines and that they understand their individual responsibility.

We are ready to sing again, and we want to sing again, and we will, but we will do it safely because we will have planned and prepared fully and with rigour.

Until then we shall have music in our hearts and our minds. I am reminded of the words from Arthur O’Shaughnessy’s Ode.

“We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.”

This week a woman lost her husband and life-partner of 73 years, they first met in 1939 when he was 19, she just 13, later marrying in 1947. The feeling of emptiness when someone passes is immense and after so many years, I can only imagine how this must feel. In our lifetime we will all lose someone close to us and sadly this last year has hastened that day for so many. I have no time for anyone who is not understanding of loss and in particular I have no time for anyone who is unkind. It is simply unacceptable whatever the circumstance and whoever the person. But we don’t live in a world where everyone is kind and whilst the benefits of the internet and social media are vast, it is all too easy to criticise and be unkind and uncaring through this medium. Thankfully, the tributes and messages of support have outweighed any negativity.

Tomorrow sees the next step along the road to recovery and the slow lifting of restrictions. There is still caution and nerves and rightly so! The numbers of recorded deaths are the lowest in seven months and the cases are still reducing. I won’t be rushing out to do anything wild this week or indeed in the next few weeks, but I will welcome the opportunity to sit outside a coffee shop and read.

My choirs ceased rehearsals in March 2020 and by the end of April they will all have been online for 52 weeks. We will return eventually, but slowly and safely and we will wallow in the glorious sounds of other voices. That is what we have missed, and it will be so welcome when we can experience it again. Perhaps more than ever on the road back to singing we will need each other, but the combined strength that choirs throughout the nation and indeed the world will give to each other will be unparalleled. Every singer will know just how the other is feeling, from the youngest to the oldest, it will all be the same. Singing together, in one voice and this will sustain us through our journey back to being able to make music once more. Let’s be positive and kind on our way back!

I can’t ignore how I feel, and I am sure that my feelings echo those of many others. I am testing twice weekly, and I have had my first vaccine and I have acted, I believe with safety and concern for my own health, as well as others. I have followed the rules, done what I should and must do and now wait. There are those who believe differently and that is their choice.

What I know is that the musical communities in which I have worked for over 25 years have not met or sung together in over twelve months and we need it now more than ever. The very thought that this ‘irreversible’ roadmap may fail is unconscionable.

I contain my feelings and remain positive, but I see it all around me. The glimmer of hope in a socially distanced walk in the park for friends or family who are clearly happy to be together is palpable.

The temptation to laugh and find joy in the simple act of a dog chasing a ball or a young child being allowed to run around in the sunshine, all of which felt normal. But dare we wish for it to continue? Dare we drop our guard in case it is taken away again!

We must, more than ever believe that the restrictions in place have been successful, the tremendous advances in medicine and science will have a positive impact. The unprecedented success of the rollout of the vaccine, and everyone’s awareness of what has been necessary surely has to pay off?

A significant milestone has been reached this week, in that Honley MVC will have been online for 52 weeks, my choirs Altrincham and Chesterfield are not far behind and we truly have achieved so much this past year. But what we long for now is to be together, to sing together, to hear each other’s voices and to let the harmony of our musical reunion wash over us.

Is that too much to ask? I hope not!

I think we are all hoping, especially for those whose choirs fell silent in March 2020 that this will be a summer where we find our voices again. It’s hard to believe that we are now a week past the 12-month anniversary of the cancellation of our rehearsals and concerts. I have spent most of that year online, not only in rehearsal, but in meetings, discussion groups, quizzes….you name it and I will have done it! We have all become used to that look which tells us that we should leave the meeting, but don’t know how! Maybe – zoom face – will enter the dictionary this coming year! There have been many opportunities to laugh whilst being online and it has been so important to do that. My only regret is that I have not been able to see and engage with every member of my choirs. I realise that for some online just wasn’t for them and I hope that as we return, we will all work hard to bring our community back together and make it even stronger than when we parted.

This weekend, I did something that I have not done in a long time which was read the newspaper. Being able to access the headlines online has very much become the norm, but for some reason I wanted more than just the gist of a story. I have become disillusioned with the press over this past year, realising though that it has been a necessary evil and our only way of coming to terms with our situation, as well as remaining informed.

I have thought a great deal about where I stand on certain subjects and for the most part have a very definite view; on others I am still to weigh up both sides of the argument. For those who follow me on social media, you will have picked up my little outbursts or my commentary on particular issues and some of you may even know why or what has prompted me to comment. But why do it publicly at all? Well, I suppose I could say why not!

Being a ‘celebrity’ affords you a platform, and we have certainly witnessed how that has been used for good or ill this last year. But shouldn’t everyone have a platform? Shouldn’t everyone have a voice? It may not be through social media, but everyone should be able to voice their opinion. But there is a difference between expressing your opinion and being rude!

I am worried that soon we shall no longer be able to express our opinions for fear of upsetting an individual or group or cause and in this sense our liberty is removed, and we all know how we have felt this past year not being able to perform the simplest of tasks and not having the freedom to see our family, our friends or simply go for a coffee! We have, out of necessity restricted ourselves to the bare minimum, but we are now ready to be free again.

There is still some way to go, and I am sure like many others I will wait quietly, watch the data, play my part and eventually, hopefully emerge from the darkness. As I sit writing my blog, the headlines pop up – ‘London Covid deaths fall to zero’ – ‘No evidence to halt lockdown easing’ – but the one to capture my attention this morning – ‘The BBC Proms will take place this year in person at the Royal Albert Hall, in line with government guidance’.

We will all have to adapt to the guidance and I sincerely hope that as the days and weeks unfold, we will find our way back to ‘normality’, that we will find our voices and sing like we have never sung before!

It is 12 months since stopping live music! I find that sentence hard to write in one sense, but conscious that I have achieved such a lot in that 12 months. For many it has been an exceedingly difficult time and will continue to be so. I have been supported throughout in so many ways and for that I am grateful. I have lost earnings like so many others, but I have not been excluded from receiving support. We have all lost in some way or other, but I refuse to be negative. My positive outlook has certainly been a source of strength over the weeks and months.

I have been saddened by what we have seen in the media this week, but I will not give up on humanity!

The late Jo Cox, MP ‘was driven by her belief that a fairer, kinder and more tolerant world was possible. She believed passionately that even the greatest challenges could be overcome’. Do I believe this? Yes, I do!

We will never know the truth surrounding individual circumstances and events, yet we are driven by curiosity and of course opinion. We do not know what motivates actions or decisions, even though we would like to; or think we know what lies behind them. I am not immune to all the hype and the ‘news’ and I will frequently be angry about an individual situation and I will have an opinion. But it is my opinion, and I can only comment on those feelings and not upon something of which I have no knowledge. My opening quote is from May Sarton, a prolific writer of poetry, novels, and journals. Her critics have found her writings to be inspirational, touching, honest and thought-provoking.

This week has caused us all to think and reflect! But this week, like many of my weeks this year I will be with my choral communities, and yet again it will be online. But we will be together and enjoying each other’s company in a shared and much-loved activity.

All I see as I look upon my screen of ‘celebrity squares’ are happy, engaged, thoughtful and kind people who are there to support each other! Thank you!

It is a year this week that I undertook my final concerts of 2020 and in the week to follow the final face to face rehearsals of the year too.

It seems then appropriate that I should be returning to teach tomorrow, having only worked out of the house for 3 months in the last 12. Home covid test taken and vaccinations booked and I can’t help but marvel at the extent of the significant developments in science and medicine over the past year.

Simon Sinek wrote “Life is beautiful not because of the things we see or do. Life is beautiful because of the people we meet.” Tomorrow sees step 1 of the relaxation of restrictions and for so many meeting one other person for a coffee, on a socially distanced park bench will mean such a lot. So many have remained at home and will continue to do so for sometime yet, but we must support everyone on their journey back to a more normal way of living.

It has been a difficult year and we are not through it yet and I know that the next 3 weeks will be tense for everyone as we monitor the daily statistics following an almost full scale return to education.

There have been many changes in the way we work, live and interact and many have had irreparable damage done to their livelihoods, their home lives and so much more. But we are resilient and we will cope.

I am not naive in my understanding that for some it will be difficult and for others, changes will inevitably have to be made, and the road may still be difficult. I am reminded of the words of the Irish Blessing:

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.”

My hope is that we can all be kind and supportive and understand the challenges that people may be facing.

There is no room for bitterness, anger or retribution – only kindness, forgiveness and support. I have no doubt that questions will be asked for many years about how the pandemic was handled, but for now we all need help to find the strength to recover and heal.

It’s been a week of reflection and it has been interesting to me at least, to note my different moods. Sitting with the sun on my face yesterday and reading was just bliss. I have one more week at home before returning to teaching and I am very much looking forward to being with others again. Choral activity continues online, and I still think that we will be doing so for a little longer yet.

The waiting is the hardest thing. I was out on Saturday and the simplest of things brought smiles to people’s faces – a coffee on a bench in an almost deserted city centre was about as exciting as it got. We have to be thankful for so much, especially when we compare ourselves to less fortunate countries.

This time last year I was flying back from adjudicating at the Gibraltar Festival for Young Musicians with no idea of how the next three weeks would unfold. No-one was really prepared for what the outcome would be, and it is hard to think that we are now almost 12 months on from our first lockdown.

But we have adapted and that has been our greatest strength, we have learned so much about ourselves and about each other and in the coming weeks we will get up again.